Valentine Traditions For Everyone

Many people resent Valetine’s Day. The single among us are vividly reminded that they don’t have a partner (whether or not we want one throughout the rest of the year is another issue altogether!), while those of us in a relationship may feel pressured to buy useless tokens of love and overpriced hot-housed flowers. But did you know that Valentine's Day originates from a Roman festival in honour of Lupercus (the god of wolves) and Faunus (the god of wild nature and fertility, who later became synonymous with Pan) and that later Christian festivities revolve around the sending of loving messages to and from children?

February 15th, in the fourth century BC, was the founding date of the temple of Lupercus and so this was the date chosen for the annual festival of Lupercalia - a rite of passage for adolescents, in which the names of young women were placed in a box and taken out randomly by young men. The men and their chosen partners would then be companions until the next year's event. With the advent of Christianity, this rite of passage was deeply frowned upon and hijacked in honour of St. Valentine, a martyred bishop who was beheaded on February 14th - hence the shift in the celebration date. Prior to his execution, Valentine supposedly wrote a letter to his jailer's daughter signing it 'from your Valentine', which is where the tradition of sending Valentine's cards has grown from. It is also said that while the well-loved bishop was imprisoned he received letters from friends and children who were missing him.

A tradition apparently unique to Norfolk is that of Jack Valentine. It's not clear how far the tradition dates back, but it was certainly around during the early twentieth century. Jack Valentine (also known as Old Father, or Old Mother, Valentine) is a tiny elf who brings a small gift for everyone in the house on Valentine's Day. He taps on the door but, when the children go to answer, nobody is there. However, a small gift will have been left on the doorstep often accompanied by tiny footsteps on the ground. It is said that the gift might try to squirm away when the recipient attempts to pick it up but once grasped it settles down. If there is more than one person in the house, more tapping will be heard on the door and another gift will have been left. This continues until everyone (children and adults alike) has had the delight of being visited by Jack Valentine. The family knows when the fun is over because at the final knock of the door granddad is laying on the doorstep - he being the last gift to the family!

Norfolk seems to be hot on including children in Valentine festivities as another of their traditions shows. This one dates back to the 1800s when children would go out before dawn on Valentine's Day singing,
'Good morrow, Valentine,
God bless the baker,
You'll be the giver,
And I'll be the taker' in exchange for cakes and money. Rewards would only be given pior to sunrise, after which they were deemed 'sunburnt'.

Valentine’s cards were traditionally all that were given and received on Valentine’s Day, often being made from paper, ribbon and lace. This year, instead of buying a cellophane-wrapped, virgin-pulp card and a plethora of red or pink gifts for your loved one, perhaps you could show your affections by getting creative with some recycled paper, old lace and ribbon trims. Just check first that they’re not expecting lavish gifts…

So, while Valentine's Day may now be geared towards the romantic endeavours of adults and financial endeavours of retailers, let's remember that originally it was the young who enjoyed this festival as a rite of passage and expensive gifts were not necessary, just a desire to share your time with a partner. Meanwhile, if the Christian legend is to be recognised, it is also a time for encouraging children to express their love for friends and elders by articulating their feelings and perhaps sending a homemade card or letter. But what if you don’t have a partner or children? I see no reason not to send a card to a parent, close friend or even yourself, affirming what you love in your recipient. Valentine’s Day needn’t just be about romantic love.